Looking Forward

Its been quite sometime since I last wrote here. A lot has changed. Mainly on the good side.

Mostly, its down to me changing myself a lot.

Shell has ended, as of Friday. I've learned so much about myself and about life. And more importantly, I've grown quite a bit.

I still keep my fears and my insecurities. As the people have said from the beginning, the aim is not so much to run from it but to embrace it. What's life without fears and worries.

These days, whenever something bad happens I'll pray. Dash to God, with whom all good things come.

I just thought that I might jot down that I'll be heading to Hong Kong for a summer exchange which will last two months.

It's one of the biggest things I've done really. I'm 25 this year but i've never been out of the country alone for more than a week. And this time, I'm heading out for two months.

But having met up regularly with my barker mates, I've come to realise that being 25 means its time to take the next step in life. No more pretence about being someone you are not. Those days are over. The way forward now is to be someone you are.

And I am rather special. Not so much because of me mind you. But because of God and the people I am with. I can roll off the tip of my tongue now the people I have around me and their experiences. In ACJC, some have already gotten married, with kids. Ditto for Barker. And in both, I've seen friends travel around Europe, North America.. some heading to Israel, some working in New York, Studying in arts colleges in Boston..

And so it's really time for the gentle steps and time for some movements. Life needs to be forward moving. The past is done and the best way to embrace the past, is to move forward with the people from there. Then in that case, your future will always be with the ones you love.

In all, always always know, that God walks with you.

Always have been, always will be.

I end this post with a song by our American Idol winner Mr Cook. I heard this just before mass today and it's been in my head since. In church I could almost feel God singing this to me. Telling me that I'm always going to be his baby. His child.

Ladies and Gents,

This is David Cook with Always be my baby.




Lyrics | Always Be My Baby lyrics

Last week saw me ride on a wave of optimism that i havent felt in a long long time.

i was checking out some summer programs in hk, korea and all and in a move that surprised even myself i swooped in and applied for the 5 week hk one.

if the school had covered the fees for me i would only need to pay like 2 - 2.5k for 5 weeks in hk.

i thought, good deal. and was v happy. then i told helen, and she wasnt so happy. then i persuaded her to apply till my saliva got dry. n she still wasnt so happy. then she applied. and she got happy.

so we were happy.

then i applied for pgp. and that made me more happy. suddenly i felt hope. that wow, aft my internship, i may actually be very happy! living in hk for 5 weeks 3 days after my internship ends. then when i come back i'll be in pgp, living by myself for my last yr of school..

sounds all damn good.

then i started planning for helen's 21st bd. reserved this super cool suite in sentosa resort for 525. 2 floors with a hot tub cum jacuzzi outside on the 2nd floor, kitchen, living room, bedroom, suntanning deck. then i called up her frens. all coming.

woo. suddenly everything seems good.

and then, it hit. we started fighting. again, over the most stupid thing. and suddenly its lk. cancel the party la. forget it la. f$%# here and there. and then the hk nominations came out and i was not selected. neither was helen. and suddenly wow.. all the hope comes crushing down..

and then nw i have to make a decision whether or not to pay for the summer prog. if i pay for it. it's a cool 4.5k.. plus modules n spending cash..

thats 900 a week. nt tat bad for hk but its nt as enjoyable as i imagined it to be.

so now its a huge dilemma, if i do the hk, i cant do the pgp. the money just isnt there.

so tell me, is money not the key to happiness?

that being said.. i still trust..

god will mk a way.. when there seems to be no way..

Happy New Year

Ah freaking finally, the year of the PIG is over. I wasn't much of a believer of fortunes and all but i had such a terrible year last year i cant help but believe now that if you FAN TAI SHOI. u fan tai shoi.

This year my fortune reads - dear pig. your first half of the year will still suck. (coincidentally my internship runs till june) but your suckiness will taper down slowly but surely. By the second half of the year, you should be a happy man.

And with that i prod through my stupid 5 more months of internship and pray against all that i do not end up doing anything i wont normally do.

Whatever it is, i'm very glad that its nearly all over. for now, i'm just gonna try to pick up the pieces and move on.

For the first time i'm gonna have CNY resolutions.

(note this year i din haf NEW yr resolutions but CNY resolutions. That how much i believe in the fortunes now. ha)

1. pierce my ears.
2. get a fake tan and see if its nice. (yes laugh. go ahead. laugh)
3. lose some fat and get some lean meat.
4. learn french
5. get some proper drum lessons
6. buy a super solid camera and start taking brilliant pictures. (speaking of which i still haven't got my cool pics of me and natasha monks from the amazing race asia 2)
7. aim to go back to hk, macau, modern parts of china, redang or tioman (with the steamy people) and thailand. seriously i've always wanted to go thailand. this is the year man. oh. i wanna go cruise too. mr tai hang's supposed to go scotland with me (or rather i said i wanna go scotland with him) so that's penciled in too.
8. buy a car (yes i passed my final theory already my chances of passing has now gone up by 50%.

and as the chinese believe, 8 = FAT ah. so i shall be realistic and stick with 8 resolutions.

its gonna be done.

happy new year people. welcome back to sunny sg damon! no more snow man for u.